A blog for Christian men "going their own way."

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Some Challenge

"Atypical Christian Woman" writes:
"This response is a little off topic, but I think you should check out Candice Watters' blog post from 1/3/08. I was so incensed by the way she regarded the single female writer because it was not biblical to just rip into someone the way she did. I wrote an e-mail confronting Candice and she wrote back. However, I will have to read her response when I have more time to think."
I am not exactly sure which post ATC is referring to, but I did see another recent post from Candice which caught my attention. In her latest offering, "Men, Called to Celibacy?," she says of the author Mike Mason:
"Given the seeming reluctance of so many Christian guys to get married, Mason's book issues a much-needed challenge [emph. mine]. Though promoted as a book for married couples, Mystery of Marriage is a powerful resource for singles trying to discern their calling."
Okay, what's the challenge? What is it about Mike Mason that will make men want to take the plunge? Does the guy have some hard-hitting exegesis to get Christian "toxic bachelors" to come down to the front center pew with their collection of Xbox games? Does he have some stats and social research to help men see the error of their ways and to help them distinguish between Ariel the Little Mermaid and Ursula the Sea Witch? Here's the quote from Mason that Candice thinks is a clincher:

"When I saw those two hawks, therefore, I took them as a sign, as a sign of God's pleasure in my marriage. ... It was not just hawks that were flying, but angels that were dancing on account of my marriage, and any yearning I might have had to be in a monastery (besides being ludicrously unrealistic by that point) was nothing less than a temptation from the Devil. Those two hawks were a confirmation that, for me at least, no worship could be more pleasing or acceptable to God than the worship of marital love, of two lives being played out against one another in a covenant of loving cooperation. What happened to me that summer's day was one of those gentle eruptions of grace that the Lord sends so quietly, so nonchalantly, so playfully into our lives. ... Never again would I have excuse to give in to those crippling and agonizing doubts as to whether God had called me to be married, or whether He had called me to be married to this particular woman."

So seeing two hawks flying in the air is Mason's momentous confirmation of matrimony? Uhhhhhhhhhh ... okay. I see his account as a confirmation of something else about the kind of arguments some people try to make for marriage.


Triton said...

Does the guy have some hard-hitting exegesis to get Christian "toxic bachelors" to come down to the front center pew with their collection of Xbox games?

Ok, now that was funny.

I wonder if those two hawks enjoy "many luxury vacations"...

Anonymous said...

That male hawk better start saving his money or he'll lose his mate!

Many more men in general are backing away from marriage as the traditional roles ascribed to the sexes fall away. With single Christian women, they want all the benefits of the new social/economic reality PLUS all the benefits of traditional marriage.

In short, as the desirability of single Christian women has gone down dramatically, the women's expectations have skyrocketed. It has nothing to do with the devil or men being immature. When women want to run the show or share power equally, men back away.

No mystery, no evil forces at work here, just human nature.

Curiepoint said...

If there are so many women out there that crave marriage and claim it as some sort of inalienable right, why don't they just do what they've always done to get what they want?

Cry victim-of-men, mobilize politically, and have laws passed in their favor. I am sure that the Democratic winner of last night's New Hampshire Primary would lend an ear, if the right amount of angst, fury, and fabricated statistics are presented to her.

I just find it funny that all this dialogue regarding what women want utterly and completely ignores a simple fact: What they want is their responsibility, and what they want makes no appeal to what men want. Yet again, the view amongst these Christian women is that women have choices, men only have responsibilities.

Atypical Christian Woman said...

I am talking about the "Resigned to Singleness" blog post from 1/3/08. It seems like she was saying in a nutshell,"Sister, you would be where I am at if you just wised up and started looking and praying for a walking ATM (cough), I mean a husband."

uksinglechristianwoman said...

I'm going to my grave barren because of the selfishness of single Christian men. They are addicted to pornography, childish hobbies and are quite simply refusing to grow up.

They are not good stewards of their bodies and lives. Men must start stepping up or Christianity is lost.

I turn 41 this year with no prospects for marriage. I will probably never marry. What happened to men? What happened!?!

many_luxury_vacations said...

I am waiting for the hard-hitting exegesis to shame men who won't marry single Christian women.

How sad for the women.

Anonymous said...

Nature seems to take care of foolish thinking. Women who feel men should be devout, wealthy metrosexuals are increasingly living their lives alone.

Lots of ordinary decent guys are living their lives without a helpmeet and companion. Life is a little more lonely and they don't have children, but they aren't under the control of women who want to constantly change them.

Within a decade or two, the Marriage Mandate girls will be older and more resigned to solitude and we'll hear a lot less from them.

Human nature doesn't change. Men want a helper and lover, not a nagging and controlling "partner". The only reason for this discussion is that lots of Christian women are furious because men don't love them despite the fact that they've made themselves completely unlovable.

aMGHOW said...

"I will probably never marry. What happened to men? What happened!?!"

I can't speak for the others here, but for myself, I escaped the west (partial-expat) and married a beautiful Filipino wife many years ago. Unlike MMs crowd, she didn't have to shame me into marriage as she also brought allot to the table.

I think any man whom gets married in the "west" is asking for serious trouble! Face it, 70+% of divorces are initiated by the women, 90+% of child custody awards goes to the women and from the remaining 10%, some go to relatives and the state). Men seldom get custody/child support even should they win, and in most cases, a man will be wiped out financially, emotionally for life.

If for any reason your wife decides upon a new religion, decides for any reason that she *FEELS* differently about *HER* marriage you or finds the bad-boy 'poolboy' irrestible, it is the *HUSBAND* whom be found guilty and will be taken apart by the divorce and child support INDUSTRIES.

I have read that the divorce rate in the US may be as high as 70% +/- when adding in high-divorce states like California (which are normally not counted). In some areas it's well into the 90s.

Of the remainder 'successfull' marriages, how many husbands are stuck in cold, sexless marriages with nagging wives knowing what will happen to them if they are ever FALSELY accused of spousal or child abuse?

Very few marriages last for life in the west and even fewer are happy (I would guess only about 10%).

Stay single or move to a nation like the Philippines (which is a Christian nation) where there is NO legal divorce and men and boys, husbands and fathers are respected.


Jessica said...

I think the bottom line is this: man or woman, change is a choice that a person must make themselves---no complaining, whining, shaming, or gender bashing will do it. Ladies, if you are around a lot of men who don't want to get married:
find out why, find out what you're doing to draw these types of men in your life, show them the love of God regardless of how they act, and CHANGE your routine! Many times we complain about how we can never meet any nice guys but we don't check our notions about what that is against the Word or we're doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results.

Sometimes we want to blame everyone else for our woes in relationships or lack thereof and not take responsibility(on both sides, MEN AND WOMEN). Yes, men need to understand their masculinity and live it out from a Biblical perspective. But many times our attitudes in action speak volumes before we open our mouths.

If we have negative body language and are constantly complaining about men in front of them, why are we suprised when they don't ask us out?

Anonymous said...


It goes much further than this. There are going to have to be concrete, and major structural changes. For example, abolish divorce (and with it the divorce industry and child support industry). If a couple wishes to get married, then they are legally married for life ...and not until a women feel's otherwise. (again, 70+% of divorces are initiated by the women). *DEEDS* not words. *LOGIC* not feelings. A *REPUBLIC* and not a democracy (or worse).

Men have watched their fathers, brothers and friends literally ruined by the divorce and child support industry for decades now...and I doubt many want to go through that. Words are cheap as are empty promises and emotions. If western women want marriage then there will have to be concrete, irreversible changes in society. Very little is done for men - the vast majority of suicides are men, the vast majority of on the job deaths are men, most of the most dangerous jobs are given to men....and the list goes on and on.

Oh and add in a host of items that men have been arguing for ages. For instance, DNA testing of children at birth and the man not obligated to pay for children whom are not biologically his (of course, the DNA test to be destroyed after and not kept by the government for biometric datasets). Most men know what happens if they donate sperm, for instance, a lifetime of child support for children they will never know (allot like many marriages/divorces). Most men know what happens in divorces, what sane man would sign-up for such a thing? Of some humor is the petty attempts by the MM crowd to attempt to shame men into marriage - once again women only make the situation far more grave than it already was.

IMO and on a slightly different note, it's far too late for most western nations. "No-fault" divorce, abortion (aka murder by a baby by a women, often against the fathers/boyfriends/husbands) wishes, the pill, the relentless attack on fathers, boys, husbands for decades, uncontrolled (and encouraged) immigration from nations which desire the death of the west and Christianity and so forth have nearly reached their logical and intended consequences. Obviously the game plan is to kill of western nations and Christianity and women (Christian and otherwise) have played a major role in this.

For instance, in the UK the largest 'church' being built is an Islamic mosque. English is now the minority language in 1300+ UK schools. Islamic prayer calls are close to being invoked for some UK cities (if you live in the UK, you can enjoy the prayer calls soon enough). In many EU nations children via marriage is a minority situation and most children have many so-called fathers (the only *REAL* father is the bio-logical father). I could go on, but you get the idea. I believe most Christians have forgotten history. Islam and other forces are about to kick some major butt. Look into the history of the Hindus (India) and what Islam did there as well as the history of Europe. In the USA, 50% of all children being born are Hispanic (and of the remaining 50%, how many are immigrants from non-Christian nations?) and there are massive numbers of Islamic peoples coming into the nation. Again, I could go on and on and we have not even touched the communist Chinese yet. Do you have any idea what will happen to Christians (and other faiths) once Islam is unleashed (and they have been preparing for decades now, if not longer).

Most men, know it is too late and are preparing themselves. It's just a matter of time until nations like yours face shortages in food, energy (gasoline for example) and goods, where foreign nations though 'sovereign wealth funds' (SWF) of foreign nations extract all the capital and *CONTROL* from what little remains of western industry and technology, until western nations face economic consequences that will make Weimar Germany and the Great Depression look like minor episodes. It is also a matter of time until Islamic extremism is unleashed and 'infidel's and 'apostates' in western nations are ruthlessly hunted down and murdered en mass. What you're seeing in France (riots) and many African nations (i.e.: socialism in Zimbabwe and South Africa) are mere warm ups...yet most Christians are utterly clueless as to what is happening - and about to happen.

What has your church done in preparation for these events? Did you know, that Christians (an entire family) were recently hunted down and killed by hacking internet chats - were talking in New Jersey, USA not in Iran. There are many well armed mosques armed to the teeth (and they do practice) in Canada, US and all western nations. Islam means business...it literally means SUBMISSION (or death). Has your church covered how to store food, grow food, protect yourself, purify water and so forth? Do you know what to do if there is a severe economic crises or if the 'Just In Time' systems like food stores and gasoline stations go down? Can you go without electricity, grocery stores, gas stations, and 'big-box' stores or do you live pay to pay?

Most churches, IMO, are tea-parties and 'feel-good' politically correct sessions for women with few truly important matters being discussed (which is why most men do not attend these mass shaming and and often feminist 'tea parties').

Trust me, dating is soon to be the least of your concerns. People like the DM (MM) crowd are so utterly clueless. IMO, most Christian women will be litterally slaughtered - or much worse - in the years ahead. If I am direct what can I say?, I'm an alpha-male and I call it as I see it.