A blog for Christian men "going their own way."

Friday, December 19, 2008

Google Search of "Husbands, Love Your Wives"

Over at Boundless, Suzanne Hadley has an article about marriage and singleness. In it, she quotes Ephesians 5:25, the passage about husbands having to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Suzanne doesn't mention Ephesians 5:22, where women are told to submit to their husbands. Perhaps this is because Suzanne is writing from a single woman's perspective. I don't know. Yet, I still have to wonder: Is it me or does it seem like Ephesians 5:25 has been pounded to death while Ephesians 5:22 goes largely ignored?

Well, I decided to do an experiment. I used certain search terms and then examined the kind of hits I retrieved. Here are some results I find to be noteworthy ...

1. The search term "husbands love your wives" yielded 8 hits at Boundless. The search term "wives submit" yielded 4 hits at Boundless.

2. The search term "husbands love your wives" yielded 65,800 hits on Google. The search term "wives submit" yielded 56,000 hits on Google.

Make of it what you will.

8 comments:

Christina said...

Considering I'm having 5:22 be the scripture reading at my wedding, this subject seriously doesn't bug me much atm.

Suzanne Hadley is NOT your enemy here. You have a lot more single women writing there than you have single men (hmmm...)

Considering her post was about what to LOOK FORWARD TO, I'm not gonna fault her for focusing on having a man in her life who LOVES her.

However, I seriously think you should look at some of those 56,000 google results. Some of them are seriously amusing.

I was a little caught off guard by them and I think I wrote about how there are two extremes to the universe of females when it comes to submission:
- Hell no
- I'm your doormat

I'm lost on where the balance is.

In hindsight, I wonder if the sheer lack of mentioning submission in evangelical circles is BECAUSE they don't know how to communicate the balance. Notice how all the reasonable posts that Boundless does, people still interpret to an extreme. Its easier to deal with leadership for men because its easier to communicate the balance, I think. Submission is a lot more difficult

Christina said...

Oh...and another thing about my last paragraph...

The "manly" men that comment at Boundless (please don't ask me to elaborate on that qualifier) tend to be more moderate in their thinking ANYWAYS. So even if Boundless puts forth a more extreme commentary on male leadership, there's enough solid, biblically guided men to provide a more moderate opinion on the matter.

With the girls, I almost wrote how we can't escape a cat fight on any subject when they took that "No Opinion" post (that was written just for them) and come up with extreme responses on BC.

"No Opinion" doesn't sit well with them, I guess. Ted found the irony in it =p

Amir Larijani said...

Christina: I thought I'd get a few laughs about my remarks on the rhythm method. I guess everyone was being too serious. LOL

Christina said...

Amir,

Considering the "rhythem" method is exactly what the majority of those commentors oppose, I seriously doubt the laughs =p

However, you did make me smile :)

LadyElaine said...

amir:
I figured you were being humorous.

anakin:
why is it that no one looks at the whole chapter of Ephesians 5, or even Ephesians 5:21 for that matter?

Amir Larijani said...

In all honesty, I doubt that Boundless is slanted against the "wives submit" half of the Ephesians 5 responsibilities.

I do, however, think they lean toward the line of thinking that suggests that if men only led correctly, the wives would submit willingly. Trouble is, that dog doesn't hunt either.

Jesus is the perfect Head for His "bride" (the Church), and yet are we always obedient, submissive to His leadership, trusting in His perfect love? Hardly.

Ergo, to suggest that perfect husbandly leadership always translates into perfect wifely submission, would be utter hogwash.

Nor would it be correct, for that matter, to suggest that perfect wifely submission will make him into that perfect Husbandly leader, tender and loving, with proverbial brass balls to boot.

As for the Google search, I'm not surprised. At the end of the day, "husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church" is a lot more positive than "wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord."

As I've noted before, the correct answer to this is not the "wives submit to your husbands!" backlash, but rather to address both ends of that dynamic together. Leaving either one in isolation leads to bad Orthodoxy and possibly worse Orthopraxy.

cerfmeno said...

What is interesting about that passage is what is not mentioned. It doesn't say wives should also love their husbands but only to submit to them. This is because females are only capable of loving themselves and their children who are copies of themselves. The best they can do is submit even then it takes them a great deal of effort. Most of them refuse anyway so why would any sane man want to marry them?

Amir Larijani said...

Cerfmino says: What is interesting about that passage is what is not mentioned. It doesn't say wives should also love their husbands but only to submit to them. This is because females are only capable of loving themselves and their children who are copies of themselves. The best they can do is submit even then it takes them a great deal of effort. Most of them refuse anyway so why would any sane man want to marry them?

With all due respect, that reeks of misogyny.

Where in Scripture does it suggest that women are incapable of loving their husbands?

Where in Scripture does it suggest that the command for the wife to submit to her husband as to the Lord exists due to the lack of ability of a woman to love?

That Paul does not provide a specific command in that passage for her to love him does not suggest that she lacks the capacity.

Paul does not include a command in this passage to love God, even though there is no that is a command given to both sexes in Scripture.

(Moreover, your assertion clearly neglects the Song of Solomon, wherein the wife is constantly expressing her love for her husband.)

It is, however, reasonable to question her capacity to love without blemish, just as it is reasonable to question the same of the man.

After all, excluding Jesus, no prominent character in Scripture expressed perfect love in the marital relationships. In fact, the Old Testament is chock full of blunders on both ends.

Fact is, a man's love for his wife will never reach perfection, just as a woman's love for her husband will never reach perfection.

In fact, her command to submit is not contingent on his love, just as his command to love her is not contingent on her submission.