A blog for Christian men "going their own way."

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Having It All

Well, it seems that if Candice Watters was ever a woman who thought she could "have it all," she isn't now. I wonder how many other Gen X women will have a V-8 moment.


Elusive Wapiti said...

Well, for starters, I gotta hand it to her for having a quiver-full. Good on her and her hubby.

Good also for having the testicular fortitude for calling it like she sees it. Mayhaps younger women will see what she writes and take the advice from an elder sister that kids and even part-time work don't mix well, as both compete greedily for the same resource...a parent's time.

It's too bad that even Believing women have swallowed the you-can-have-it-all message that the culture propagates. How many have suffered because of it? How many divorces have occurred because of it? How many kids become latchkey because of it?

I'm glad she's had her epiphany. Too bad her husband's thoughts and opinions warranted nary a mention in her calculus. I have to wonder if that was simply an oversight or another indicator that women, even Believing women, tend to think of only themselves and their children (if they have them).

PS awesome that she had the luxury of taking her work home with her. If only men had that kind of flexibility. Or understanding from employers. Unfortunately it'll feed the ire of the women-are-paid-less crowd.

sniat said...

Don't listen to a word these chicks say. The moment they head off to University automaticaly disqualifies them as a wife or mother. Sure there are exceptions. Maybe one or two of you out there have even found that special gal who can perform brain surgery, earn six figures and stay at home with her 3 kids. Most of you will not. So please do me a favor, avoid these career chicks as wives. To them husbands and children are like shoes and bags. Accessory items to be discarded when no longer in style.

Triton said...

There ain't no such thing as a free lunch. If you try to do everything, then you will end up doing it all poorly.

Better to only do a few things and do them well.

Adam T. said...

Don't listen to a word these chicks say. The moment they head off to University automaticaly disqualifies them as a wife or mother.

Uh, university != 'career chick'.

MarkyMark said...

If undergrad != career chick, then surely her attendance to grad, med, or law school does...

Christina said...

If undergrad != career chick, then surely her attendance to grad, med, or law school does...

I still think that liberal arts grad != career chick...

Lol...unless its to pay off the debt. Who knows, you could end up with a wife who can educate your kids through core college courses and just pay for those AP exams to get them their college credit! Approximately 24 credits/3 credits per class = 8 classes x $60 AP Test = $480! Or CLEP exams. Which are about the same cost and come in a wider variety :) AA without setting foot in a college!

EW, concerning leaving the hubby out of the decision - though in reality, I'm certain Candice and Steve discussed it and he had a big role in the decision, I seriously doubt there was much disagreement ANYWHERE between those two concerning giving up career. In a post like this that highlights Candice's own revelation, I don't think its such a problem for lack of hubby-mention, as this is kinda part of Candice's own personal journey through life.

Seriously, the current generation (this is NO fault of their own) lack mature voices that KNOW that work and parenting don't mix. They hear all the good stuff (like my boss with 7 year old triplets that raves over her dual life-style) and none of the bad (my boss simply loves getting away from the house for 8 hours a day).

When you have that, and you also have dreams and aspirations of how you want to impact the world - like I want to write historical fiction novels that chronicle the history of the Middle East to help put some perspective on the place...or I want to do cryptography work for the NSA, CIA, or Big British Museum - you kinda want to believe you can do it all. What was it we were told when we were younger? You can be anything! Go get 'em, Tiger!

For some of us, the thought of motherhood eclipsed all other dreams...so we would pursue other jobs as "hobbies". I keep telling myself that when I'm finally homebound for 12 weeks, I'm gonna start working through my Calculus textbook, my Stats textbook, pick up some history books, sew all the curtains for my new house, and tat a bunch of tatting bags for a group of old gals at church who want to learn to tat.

Gawk all you want, but I swear, i'm gonna do it! (I'm not really that optimistic about my time alotment with a newborn)

Of course, all Candice wanted to do was edit an online website. How hard could that be compared to all that I want to do?

And here she is, sharing much needed advice to an unsuspecting, unwarned society of young women - with optimism that borders on the insane and absolutely no concept of what reality is really going to bring.

Luckily for me, I'm already aware. I know I won't be able to do all those things I listed...but you know something? I'll make a list. And when I have the time between tending baby and keeping house clean and hubby fed, I'll tackle those little "projects" that feed my brain and creativity.

This is one of the reasons I'd like to work for my father if I MUST work part-time. Because he'll be just as invested in my time with his grandchildren as I will be.