A blog for Christian men "going their own way."

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Some Thoughts on Christianity and MGTOW

In this post, I wanted to share a few thoughts about Christianity and MGTOW. There has been some talk on men's blogs about what the "solution" might be for men who are trying to stay afloat in a post-feminist world. I know what the solution is for the believing man, whatever his fate with the opposite sex may be (Romans 15:13). A man can spend all his time learning tips to attract women. He can read up on "inner game" all he wants, but as somewhat profitable as these things may be, they are insignificant compared to the power of the Spirit (2 Timothy 1:7). Indeed, "joy" and "peace" are fruits of the Spirit, not one's marital status or one's sexual history (Galatians 5:22). The one who has overcome the fear of man (Proverbs 29:25) has overcome the fear of woman, the fear of rejection, the fear of shame, and yes, the fear of indefinite loneliness.

Abide in Christ (John 15:4), draw near to God (James 4:8), ask for the Spirit and be led by him (Luke 11:13; Romans 8:14). What I am saying is not new. But I know that sometimes accepting a proposition intellectually is not the same as understanding it experientially. So seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33) and wait for the Lord (Psalm 27:1-14). Spiritual maturity does not come instantly and it does not come easily. You may be like Jeremiah. He was unable to take a wife and live a life in the context of a supportive community because, well, the community around him was under judgment. But even when others around you forsake you, you are never alone if you stand with God (1 Kings 9:1-18).

A Biblical understanding of MGTOW does not relish isolation from others, not even women. But what it does seek is peace and meaning in the person of Christ. So, when the churches fail, when the women of our culture go after the idols of our day, when those in power grow more tyrannical and corrupt, when men are marginalized and stripped of importance, when misandry flourishes, when society moves further away from God, a man can stand firm and unshaken in Christ (Matthew 7:24-25; Psalm 46). The saying that "Jesus is all you need" has fallen on hard times, probably because it has been used in too many instances to dismiss those who suffer from loneliness. But even so, some of us have at least a partial appreciation of its truth, even though the appreciation has come through many failings. It's a truth that helps us to not only survive the depersonalized structure of our modern society, but also to thrive. It keeps us from being tools for those with an ungodly agenda.

To men who feel alone, I say this: Don't thirst for the affection of those who are perishing. Look around you and discern. The people that mistreat you and that you are tempted to envy are like chaff. They will be blown away. Read Psalm 49 and Psalm 73. There will be those who will falsely accuse you of being bitter, envious, and insecure. Don't marvel at this; false accusations against the people of God are nothing new (Matthew 5:11). The women that demean you are enslaved by the spirits of bitterness and pride. If they refuse the healing of the Great Physician, what fellowship do you have with them (2 Corinthians 6:15)? They will sink. Don't be sucked into the wake of their demise. Your religious leaders may scoff at you, too, but remember that they scoffed at righteous men before the Babylonian Captivity and before the destruction of Jerusalem in A.D. 70. The wicked will not prosper--even if they stand before podiums in large auditoriums with stained glass windows.

I suspect there are those who will accuse me of a "sour grapes" attitude that masquerades behind piety. They don't understand. They don't have the slightest clue. And I suspect the reason they don't have a clue is because they haven't taken the idea of walking close to God in their personal lives very seriously. A lot of them are nominal believers, at best. If they were walking close with God, then they would understand what I am saying.

This is not about my wounded pride, although all of us struggle with it. The love of God that allows me to stand alone in the crowd if necessary is also the biggest challenge to my pride. How can I be prideful in anything if the very blessings of life I have are gifts (Matthew 5:45)? What accomplishments can I boast in if it is God's power that sustains me (Philippians 4:13)? Why should I be afraid of looking like a fool if I am a fool for Christ (1 Corinthians 4:10)? Why should I be afraid of facing up to my failures if, in Christ, all things are made new (2 Corinthians 5:17)? Why should I be afraid of being weak if, in Christ, his grace is perfected in such (2 Corinthians 12:9)? Why should I care if others say I have "no life" if indeed, I have given up mine for Christ's sake (Mark 8:35)? Why should I be worried if everyone is better than me if the One who is perfect loves me still (Psalm 18:30)? Indeed, it is his love that helps me to love others as myself (1 John 4:19).

If my accusers had what I had more abundantly than me, I would be happy for them. But of course, if they did have it, their behavior towards me would be quite different, even if they still disagreed with me. Furthermore, if the Spirit of Christ leads me to repudiate either the tone or the content of what I have written over the last few years, then is it the end of the world for me? No. As the Apostle Paul said, "I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ" (Philippians 3:8). Even through my failures, I am confident that God will continue his sanctifying work in me until the day of his Son's appearing (Philippians 1:6).

Here is the essence of a Biblical understanding of MGTOW: Go ahead and call me a loser. Go ahead, because Christianity is for losers (Matthew 10:39; 1 Corinthians 1:26-29). There is no need for me to be defensive about that statement because the victory is already mine in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57). I stand upon this confession:
"See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ. For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority; and in Him you were also circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, in the removal of the body of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ; having been buried with Him in baptism, in which you were also raised up with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead." (Colossians 2:8-12, NASB).
I am not writing this for my own benefit; I'm writing for the benefit of the others. You see, many of you have tried to make it all about me. But it isn't really about me. It's about Christ, regardless of what you or I think about things. If I have said some things over these last several years that shouldn't have been said, then I apologize. Let what is good stand; let what isn't fall. If my counsel is not of God's will, then I will be defeated (Proverbs 19:21). The same goes for you. Take care.


njartist said...

Excellent. I have been reading your blog for only a year: you apparently crossed over a border in your understanding. In my opinion, you're finished with this topic as an artist is finished with a painting.

Anonymous said...

Bless you Anakin.

Ping Jockey said...

By experience, I have found that being alone can be either of two things:
1) loneliness, or
2) solitude
I believe that they are two entirely different things, and can be made either one simply by your own attitude towards being alone.

P Ray said...

I have been told more than once, by looking analytically at the way people approach relationships: "You will end up old, lonely and miserable"
I replied to that girl:
Everyone has to get old sometime.
Loneliness is a state of mind.
How sure are you that I'm the miserable one?

Even my own mother has told me "You need to pick the "right one"".
And then I replied, if you have to play games to find "the right one"(as there is always, always a selection process involved), you don't really call it love anymore - you call it a game.

Jeff said...

Thank you Anakin. I have gained much wisdom from your writings.

Adam T. said...

Me too, Jeff. Anakin, this is one of the most heartfelt posts I've read anywhere. Deep down, I can't imagine anyone not identifying with it - and it takes a lot of humility to express those sorts of things.

Anonymous said...

"There has been some talk on men's blogs about what the "solution" might be for men who are trying to stay afloat in a post-feminist world...Indeed, "joy" and "peace" are fruits of the Spirit, not one's marital status or one's sexual history...The one who has overcome the fear of man (Proverbs 29:25) has overcome the fear of woman, the fear of rejection..."

The fruits of the spirit are not only about overcoming fear, but anger as well, since they typically go hand in hand when it comes to the issues addressed on this blog.

King Alfred said...

Yet another excellent post. After a lifetime of bachelorhood, the only time I feel truly lonely -strangely enough- is at church. Many people there, including those at the pulpit, seem to go out of their way to make single men feel uncomfortable (and married men, for that matter). My solution has been to try to focus on Christ and fill my time with meaningful work. Yes, a single man can find happiness and fulfillment in life! As always, your comments struck a chord with me.

Elusive Wapiti said...

A great post once again, Anakin.

As I was riding home from work a few minutes ago, I thought about how men and women both reference their mores and their egos on other people.

True peace and stability comes from those whose locus is in God.

This therefore was the 'money shot'--so to speak--for me:

"Don't thirst for the affection of those who are perishing"

Great stuff, thanks again.

Anonymous said...

I agree with your points. Still, I'm much older than most of your readers. I've had the old fashioned marriage, solitude and the hit and miss dating life.

There are many good Christian women hurting and alone, but often they were the ones who turned us away to serve undeserving men. For most of them, it was a lifelong dedication.

Love and romance has its place. Solitude can be very clarifying. Our logic here is always clouded by emotion, belief, biological drives, etc.

Focus on God and all these things will sort themselves out.

vysota said...

Hey hey hey, congratulations! MGTOW has made it to the Daily Show. The movement has now been validated!!

In case you care -- and this is your one moment in the sun, so you should -- it's the Feb. 3rd episode. Enjoy!

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