Well, true to form, Albert Mohler is celebrating Mark Regnerus' article in CT and has decided to beat the drum about the matter. My thoughts about Al's broadcast (see the minute markers below) ...
13:30 ff. (But especially at 14:50 ff.) ... Let's see. "It's unreasonable to expect" young people who delay marriage to not sleep around ...but wait! Sexual sin is problem! It's theological schizophrenia at its worst. Listen up folks: I'm all for early marriage, but it's becoming apparent to me that Albert Mohler and Mark Regnerus are much more fatalistic than I am about people being able to obey God's commands. Apparently, only married people can be pleasing to God. Everyone else is doomed to sexual sin, unless of course, you are one of the mystical 144,000 with the gift of celibacy.
16:10 ff. Marriage makes adults of us? Those of us who have witnessed the legacy of parents this side of the Baby Boom can have a laugh at that one.
16:20 ff. Gross eisegesis of 1 Cor. 7:7. I see no mention of the "gift of celibacy" here. No mention of Paul having a low sex drive or some divine gift of not caring about women. It doesn't stop the Marriage Mandate movement from imagining that it's there in the text, though. Just like Genesis 1:28 and Genesis 2:18, they've quoted the passage so long, they stopped actually reading it.
17:55 ff. Our poor teens don't have the gift of celibacy because they are having sex! Umm, they probably don't have a clue, either. Could it be the real reason evangelical youngsters are not so far apart from the world in having premarital sex is because they are surrounded by a pornographic culture? Or how about these reasons ...
(1) The religious community of which they are a part is more culturally conservative than spiritual. I mean Christianity is more than just refraining from sex. But with so many religious conservatives, their faith seems to be about mere do's and dont's. So, their kids see through the charade and conclude that even the do's and don'ts are a waste of time. Why should the kids be serious about tackling sexual sin when the grown-ups at church aren't serious about tackling materialism, selfish ambition, gossip, bitterness, wrath, backbiting and all the other works of the flesh that you don't hear the cultural warriors talk about? Christianity has been dead in North America for a long time (being reduced to a civic club for Republicans) and the putative 80% of church kids sleeping around only puts the icing on the cake, IMHO.
(2) Albert Mohler and others have already told young people in so many words they are going to fail. So the mantra goes like this: "God designed us for sex!" No, folks, God designed us to fear him and keep his commandments, whether we get "get lucky" or not (Eccles. 12:13).
21:00 ff. Some talk about "the World" and "the Biblical vision" (read "us" vs. "them"). Is the Marriage Mandate Movement really all that separate from how the world views relationships between men and women? You mean male-bashing and an overemphasis on romantic relationships being the solution to life's problems are Christian concepts and not something I can see on the Lifetime Channel?
23:50 ff. Proposal that we grill young men about their marital status. "How are you handling this?" Hey, Albert, how are the married men handling it? Or is Proverbs 21:9 just written in jest and not really meant as cautionary advice? All the questions you fire at the young man struggling with his chastity could be fired right back at the older man struggling in his marriage. Everything has its price (1 Cor. 7:28).
29:00 ff. Guess who is on the show tonight, folks! Candice Watters is in da house! Al hearts ya, SISTAH! Cue from stage left and sit in the easy chair next to the big man. Smile to the camera and tell us about your latest movie.
32:30 ff. Male bashing. What would Albert and Candice's shtick be without that? Men delay marriage "because they can?" Yeah, and more power to them, I say. Men delay marriage because the owners of the club have set the entry fee too high. Or men delay marriage because it's not available to them. Maybe Marriage 2.0 is the only product on the shelves in a given situation.
33:10 ff. The fundamental responsibility is mostly on men to "grow up and get married"? And that part about how oh-so-many Christian women are "ready for marriage?" Are these women ready for marriage, or they just ready for the wedding? Big difference, there, Al. Because in marriage, it takes two to tango. It takes mutual sacrifice. I have a difficult time believing that a generation of women raised on a diet of cultural misandry, helicopter parenting, materialism, and the therapeutic zeitgeist of putting female felt needs before all else is really ready for marriage. Are they really ready to selflessly love a man and be his helpmeet? Are they even ready to keep the toast from burning?
Finally, Al, you ask, "Where are the men?" They're all around you, pal (Although, they are probably not dancing to your tune.). They're all around those poor little evangelical bachelorettes, too. But the women don't see those men. When ladies ask, "Where are the men?" they probably mean only those that could perchance fall within what Roger Devlin calls their "erotic field of view." The young Christian maiden is probably wondering why Matt the pretty boy "won't get serious" and be "spiritual" like her and "realize his call" to embrace "Biblical manhood" by embracing marriage. Unheeded goes Raymond, who is shy and socially awkward, but loves the Lord much more than Matt ever will. Put another way? I fear too many women are confusing strong feelings with the quality of being spiritual.
Anyway, with respect to Al, it's essentially just more of the same. I'll leave it at that.
HT: Puritan Calvinist.
Another bad cop
2 years ago
34 comments:
An excellent post, as usual Anakin.
"Marriage makes adults of us?"
I think marriage does help the maturation process along. But otherwise I agree with you that marriage isn't sufficient to make an adult out of a person.
"Men delay marriage "because they can?""
Well, I think women delay marriage "because they can" as well. Isn't the average age of female first marriage something like 26 to a man's 28? And outside of myself and a few others, where are the people calling women to marry early? Like, before age 22?
"Are these women ready for marriage, or they just ready for the wedding?"
Bingo. That's the key question. And I'm waiting for the Church leadership to address the issue of female readiness for marriage, not just that of the guys.
"They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."
The powers that believe in female entitlement have seriously underestimated the tenacity of the human condition and its aversion to injustice.
To their absolute surprise and dismay, men have shown they are not the slaves to their natures they thought they were.
EW -
Parents in the vast majority say absolutely not to before age 22.
My parents being an exception =p
Most people don't believe someone that old knows what they really want, the divorce rate being higher for that age group (so I hear).
Average marriage age of women being 26? Yeah, a lot of them probably intentionally put it off...I know a few of them...but a lot of them just don't seem to be able to find a suitable mate.
I wanted to meet prince charming at 16 and marry at 18. Then when I was 15, I wanted to meet him at 18 and marry at 20. When I was 17, 20/22...simply because I was getting older and I didn't want to be disappointed when it didn't happen according to my dreams. I finally met prince charming at 23 and married him at 25 =p I didn't intentionally push it out - its just the way it happened.
And I think that deep down, a lot of women are willing to settle down when they meet someone...with some exceptions. Its just harder to find men that appeal to the majority of women and harder to find women that appeal to the majority of men... thanks to feminism =p
I'm not entirely certain the majority of people are intentionally doing anything - they just find it harder to find someone that fits. Unrealistic expectations and selfishness tend to do that.
"Finally, Al, you ask, "Where are the men?" They're all around you, pal (Although, they are probably not dancing to your tune.). They're all around those poor little evangelical bachelorettes, too. But the women don't see those men. When ladies ask, "Where are the men?" they probably mean only those that could perchance fall within what Roger Devlin calls their "erotic field of view." The young Christian maiden is probably wondering why Matt the pretty boy "won't get serious" and be "spiritual" like her and "realize his call" to embrace "Biblical manhood" by embracing marriage. Unheeded goes Raymond, who is shy and socially awkward, but loves the Lord much more than Matt ever will. Put another way? I fear too many women are confusing strong feelings with the quality of being spiritual."
Having participated in far more than my share of singles sunday school classes, singles retreats, and singles fellowship groups and not having heard much useful at all about what to look for in a godly mate or how to be a godly mate I am not really surprised that both men and women have difficulty recognizing good mate material. It does make me wonder though why the church is so woefully inadequate in this area.
Learner-
Because the church is losing the intellectual and willpower battle within itself over chastity, sexual purity, fidelity, and the lusts of the eye and the flesh.
Christian girls often have more unrealistic expectations re: looks and money.
These Christian girls have no idea how deeply they are walking in the flesh, and that Godly spirituality is far away from them.
The bible tells us that the woman was made for the man, not the other way around.
When women get right with God, they will see this.
I refuse to yield to the pressures of the Christian-Feminist mix that is prevalent among the mandate crowd.
God will lead me, not a woman, or men who think like women.
SA
Buy stock in cat food companies is all I can say.
SA,
"Christian girls often have more unrealistic expectations re: looks and money."
I don't know SA. In my observation it does appear that there are more women than men with expectations that their mate will have money. But, I have not observed more women than men with unrealistic expectations about looks. It seems that this is an issue that plagues both men and women in the current culture. Don't get me wrong, I think personal preferences are just that, personal. But I think it would serve both men and women to examine their preferences in the light of scripture. Men see what they perceive as many women interested only in the most attractive men and women see what they perceive as many men interested only in the most attractive women. I don't know that the question of "who does it more" is as important as each individual person examining their preferences before God. And that is what the church should be teaching us, both men and women. And it is failing.
Now, I know that men get more bludgeoning over the head about the "looks" issue than women do about any issue in the church today. So, I agree that is a definite disparity there. I just think the solution lies in all believers examining themselves.
Buy stock in cat food companies is all I can say.
Heh, that's for sure. Them and fertility clinics are going to be doing more business than they can handle in not too many years.
Anakin asks: "Are these women ready for marriage, or they just ready for the wedding?"
EW responds: "
Bingo. That's the key question. And I'm waiting for the Church leadership to address the issue of female readiness for marriage, not just that of the guys."
I agree. The lack of marital readiness--one of the factors that leads to (a) a higher divorce rate and (b) fewer marriages at the earlier ages--is no respecter of sexes.
One can make the case that both sexes are less mature in their early adult years. This is on the parents and the Church.
When you have a higher percentage of children growing up in broken homes, that adversely impacts the quality of Christian teaching in the home.
Moreover, the quality of Christian teaching for youth and children within the churches, is downright terrible.
Compound this with the social factors working against young people--less community, more mobility of families, and greater risks of divorce--and you've got the mother of all storms.
What surprises me is that Mohler and Co. want to take this out on single men, when in fact the more appropriate targets would be seminary professors, church and denominational leaders, pastors, and parents.
Another desperate cry for help. Seriously, if anyone on this board knows this Anakin kid, you need to take him to a good psychiatrist. Reading the same damn book over and over and over and over and over again is nice and all... but it won't give him what he needs. The boy needs to learn social skills, needs to get some self esteem. Please, if anyone knows him in real life, talk to him.
What I find amusing about Mohler's rants is the assumption that marriage and celibacy are mutually exclusive. Single Christian guys should never make the mistake of thinking that putting a ring on a woman's finger entitles them to anything, even sex.
A good psychiatrist. LOL!!!
"Psychiatrists commit suicide at the highest rate of all physicians. They account for seven percent of the total physician deaths and 12 percent of the 593 suicides in a study of 18,730 physician deaths. (“Suicides by Psychiatrists: A Study of Medical Specialists” by Rich et al Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, August 1980)."
And that was 1980. I'm positive it is much worse today, Catwoman aka vysota. I suppose before long, George Sodini will become the poster child of any unmarried male over 30. Men's blogs, watch out! It's already begun. Good grief!
"Are these women ready for marriage, or they just ready for the wedding?"
Bingo. That's the key question. And I'm waiting for the Church leadership to address the issue of female readiness for marriage, not just that of the guys.
Bingo indeed. I think most of these people believe that women emerge from the womb ready for marriage; just one more example of femail superiority. They don't seem to care much about what happens after the honeymoon. It's all about getting married; not much about staying married.
Frankly, I don't think it matters much that they ignore the whole divorce factor. When they do finally get around to addressing the issue, they just saddle men with all the blame.
Peter says: "Single Christian guys should never make the mistake of thinking that putting a ring on a woman's finger entitles them to anything, even sex."
Biblically, it is an entitlement that extends both directions. She is as entitled to his body has he is to hers.
(And yes, there are times when men struggle to do this, as there are families of drugs that sell quite well toward that end.)
In reality, couples do not fulfill that as they ought, and this is not a new phenomenon.
Otherwise, Paul would not have had to admonish both husbands and wives about this.
Learner-
To clarify:
My point was that my experience has been that Christian women are more obsessed with looks and money than secular women.
I'm not commenting on male vs. female, only Christian female vs. non-Christian.
This has led me to seriously consider non-Christian women, which is probably a very bad idea in itself.
So, that leaves me to deal with the higher level of caprice (as seen by me) in the dating world of Christian women.
SA,
Well, duh! on my part. Thanks for clarifying :)
I understand what you were saying now and I have a theory about it because I have some experience with this from the "other side" (christian woman/non christian men).
I think sometimes "christians" expect or assume (and unfortunately often wrongly so)that other "christians" will have certain internal qualities like fidelity, shared morality, honesty, etc. so they look beyond those to more external characteristics such such as looks or money. I think a non-christian is more likely to value those internal characteristics when they find them because they do not expect them per se. I am not saying that a non-christian won't or can't have those qualities, just that there may not be the assumption "well I 'know' they are moral, honest, faithful etc. because they are a christian so I am going to look for the icing on the cake-> looks and cash". Sort of an "all other things being equal go for the hottie or stud or rich one" approach.
I also wonder if sex may play into this. Perhaps if someone believes sex outside of marriage is okay they may be more likely to "experiment" with people who lack the immediate ZING! or are otherwise not as conventionally attractive or rich etc. because they know that person is not their "only chance". This may make them more open to a broader range of acceptable mates.
Thoughts?
(I keep repeating to myself, "don't feed the troll... don't feed the troll... don't feed the troll)
Hey,
I've been reading this blog for a while and I wanted to comment on the some christian women wanting primarily money and good looks in men.
I guess I'm an odd ball because I've never been into men having "good looks." In the past, I've dated guys who were "average"in their looks but had good character. Ultimately, someone I think may be nice looking another one of my sisters may not agree. ;)
As far as money is concerned, yes, I would like to marry a hardworking man who can take care of me. I consider myself frugal (I can stretch a dollar!) so I think this person doesn't need to be a rich fellow.
Someone also mentioned about "women needing to be taught how to be a wife" and that it's very true.
Before I came to my current fellowship, I've heard in the past from other women's related talks is "empowerment" not necessarily learning of the qualities of a godly woman.
I thank God that I've learned so much of the biblical perspective of singleness and wifehood. There definitely needs to be more older women teaching out their and giving younger Christian women correct understanding of biblical womanhood and seeing it carried out as well.
Someone -- and the suicide rates among psychiatrists are relevant... how? Just because they have a higher incidence of suicide does not mean they can't help others avoid it. What are you, a scientologist?
I keep repeating to myself, "don't feed the troll... don't feed the troll... don't feed the troll)
Yes, I keep forgetting. Br-r-r-r. Fortunately, I ran out of cat food. ;p
I think sometimes "christians" expect or assume (and unfortunately often wrongly so)that other "christians" will have certain internal qualities like fidelity, shared morality, honesty, etc. so they look beyond those to more external characteristics such such as looks or money. I think a non-christian is more likely to value those internal characteristics when they find them because they do not expect them per se. I am not saying that a non-christian won't or can't have those qualities, just that there may not be the assumption "well I 'know' they are moral, honest, faithful etc. because they are a christian so I am going to look for the icing on the cake-> looks and cash". Sort of an "all other things being equal go for the hottie or stud or rich one" approach.
I share the same theory, Learner. Although I believe that there are some internal considerations, too, that quite often upend a date before it truly gets started. For instance, Christian women who might be too prudish or strict in their disciplines to the point no one can have any fun around them.
There ARE men and women who, though christian believers, see a devil under every rock. It's very difficult to loosen up or warm up to someone like that, if you know what I mean.
Sometimes, it's just simpler to feed a troll. :)
Imagining trolls now, Somebody? Yeah, well, I guess when you know you have nothing useful to say, it's the last resort...
Someone,
There ARE men and women who, though christian believers, see a devil under every rock. It's very difficult to loosen up or warm up to someone like that, if you know what I mean.
Agreed. There is a young woman in my home group who says that when she meets a man that the first thought that enters her mind is "he better not touch me!". I suggested to her that being more open and welcoming in her manner does not mean it is open season for every man she meets to feel her up, but rather that she is not putting forth the suspicious vibe that she believes that is the motivation of every man she encounters.
Learner says: I think sometimes "christians" expect or assume (and unfortunately often wrongly so)that other "christians" will have certain internal qualities like fidelity, shared morality, honesty, etc. so they look beyond those to more external characteristics such such as looks or money.
That's possible. Many men (women) may assume that the women (men) in church are serious Christians, and--making matters worse--could think more highly of themselves than they ought.
This may fuel an element of entitlement. This is no respecter of sexes, by the way.
About 10 years ago, I was at a church wherein we had a gal in the singles group who was desperately wanting to be married. In terms of looks, she was slightly heavyset. I remember trying to strike conversations with her, and she would cold shoulder me.
One Sunday, she went forward for prayer about her desperation for marriage. One of the deacons suggested John Doe--another single man in the church. She said he was too heavyset. The deacon then suggested Amir. She said, "He's too short, and not muscular enough."
Finally, the deacon--exasperated--said, "Honey...you're expecting them to be perfect, but you aren't in that ballpark yourself."
She would ultimately leave the church, go a little wild in her relationships, and marry a nonbeliever.
In fairness to the ladies, we had a guy in the group who was always dating a different gal. He would string them along, in one case even getting engaged. Then, no sooner than that happened, he would find a reason to dump her.
There is a fine line between good, solid Biblical prudence versus making the perfect the enemy of the good.
Many singles--both sexes--are guilty of the latter.
Learner-
I'm a troll?
Amir-
Yes, yes, YES! This is what I was talking about.
Here is the mechanism, as I see it:
Secular women who do not believe that a God has their interests at heart are more likely to be pragmatic in their decisions.
Christian gals can live in a fairy-land where they are "daughters of the King", and that God will deliver to them a handsome, status-satisfying husband even though they need to work on their own appearance.
"Give me what I want NOW, God, and I'll work on me later."
The example of this woman is one I have seen so, so many times.
My strong suspicion is that she desired marriage NOT BECAUSE she desperately wanted to be a helpmate to a man and have children.
I suspect that marriage was going to be the magic pill that proved to her once and for all that she was a desirable babe.
Hence her desire for a status-raising husband. A hot, hunky guy would prove to her (and the women she was probably ragingly jealous of) that she was, in fact, as beautiful and worthy as they.
God tells us in his word that "You have not because you ask not. Or because you ask amiss, that you may CONSUME IT UPON YOUR LUSTS."
No wonder God would not subject one of his precious sons to be a sacrifice to this woman's ego.
SA,
Learner-
I'm a troll?
Not at all SA, not at all. I was referring to the individual who decided to so condecendingly let their concern be known for Anakin's well being. I am sorry if I gave the impression I was referring to you.
Anakin writes:
Finally, Al, you ask, "Where are the men?" They're all around you, pal (Although, they are probably not dancing to your tune.).
Actually, in his church, the men who would make good mates for those women, are segregated from them.
Some of that is changing with the new leadership, but it has been a long time coming.
They're all around those poor little evangelical bachelorettes, too. But the women don't see those men. When ladies ask, "Where are the men?" they probably mean only those that could perchance fall within what Roger Devlin calls their "erotic field of view." The young Christian maiden is probably wondering why Matt the pretty boy "won't get serious" and be "spiritual" like her and "realize his call" to embrace "Biblical manhood" by embracing marriage. Unheeded goes Raymond, who is shy and socially awkward, but loves the Lord much more than Matt ever will. Put another way? I fear too many women are confusing strong feelings with the quality of being spiritual.
There's some truth to that, and I would add that it goes both ways.
Like I said, Christians often develop a sense of entitlement, and as a result end up making the perfect the enemy of the good. A lot of that is on the families, the church leadership, and--yes--the individuals themselves.
There is a fine line between having preferences--which we all have--versus deliberately passing up on quality mates because they don't fall within that spectrum to which one feels entitled.
I'm not suggesting that men or women compromise on standards--there are qualities, Biblical expectations that ought to be non-negotiable.
What I am saying, though, is that men and women need to give their "standards" a long, hard look and honestly determine if they are erecting barriers that are unnecessary. Many are unwittingly doing the latter.
I've seen women do this. I've seen men do this.
As for the socially awkward and shy folks, keep in mind that a large part of the problem for that is, again, on the parents and the Church. There is no serious framework of mentoring that would benefit such folks.
I know some socially awkward people. I've worked with them over the years. It would have benefited them greatly to have a family in the church mentor them with respect to Godly headship.
I say this because the socially awkward men need to learn this. This is because the husband is head of the wife. If a woman has her spiritual ducks in a row, she's wanting a man who will take the lead.
The same is true for many of the women: some of them could use some mentoring from families regarding Godly submission on the part of wives.
One of the things that turned the corner for FutureMrsLarijani was the years of mentoring she received from families in her church. She literally didn't know what she didn't know.
In her church experience, there were families who put her to work for them. She worked around the house, with the wife allowing her to work with the kids, even to the point where she administers the spankings if need be.
She also, seeing the husband and wife deal with issues, got a firsthand look at husbands exercising headship and wives exercising submission, all while the both REALLY work for 6 days and REALLY relax on that 7th day.
She would not have had such opportunity in Mohler's church.
No...she would have been thrown into a singles class, her issues would have gone unaddressed, and she would have gone well into her 40s and 50s wondering what was wrong with everyone else.
The same is true for the men who could benefit from mentoring. Just as FutureMrsLarijani got a REAL education from the families at her church, men in the "tough-to-marry" categories can get a REAL education from families who are doing it right.
Lerner -- yeah, I care about Anikin. But I care even more about the people this depressed and angry man may wind up hurting if his depression and anger go untreated. Now chances are he won't snap like so many others have. But the fact that there is a very real risk that he will is enough for me to be concerned. Just like not every drunk who gets behind the wheel of a car winds up killing someone, not every depressed and angry individual winds up hurting someone. But that does not mean that when we see a guy stumbling into the driver's seat and hiccuping we just let it go. Anikin needs help. If not for his own sake, then for the sake of others.
Amir,
Great thoughts on the mentoring suggestion. Most men and women have a serious need for it, I certainly did. I am seeing that desperate need in the singles circles I fellowship with. So many men didn't have a father to demonstrate to them what it means to be a Godly man. Some, like me, are having to learn on our own at a slow pace, but God is bringing us along in His timeline.
My sisters in the Lord see that great need among their ranks also.
Great job shunning the troll folks! It has kept the discussion on topic and I am enjoying this very substantive discussion.
Methinks the troll doth protest too much*
* And she forever tries to get the last damn word.
Ooooh, attempting an insult by calling me a "she", anonymous? I know I know, we can't all have the giant balls of someone who posts online under moniker "anonymous", but oh well. I'm sure in your little mind you're one of them "alpha males" or whatever you call yourself when you cry yourself softly to sleep every night.
vysota:
Thanks for some much needed comic relief.
How do you know that we cry softly, perhaps we wail and beat our chests?
I know that for me, nothing beats a good old-fashioned sackcloth and ash night at home.
The sackcloth is easy enough, although the ash is getting tougher, mostly due to excessive environmental regulations.
You can't mail order it anymore, since it is hazardous materials, and you can no longer get it from the local coal-fired power plant, because since it is a public utility, they can't give or sell ash that is used for religious purposes, apparently this violates the establishment clause.
Weary self-hater that I am, I have been reduced to creating my own ash (in violation of local fire codes), by burning small amounts of wood in my old barbecue grill.
I highly recommend applewood or cherry, since hickory is harder to get and the aroma is less pleasing.
Nonetheless, we should all pay serious heed to your admonition to seek professional help.
The endorsement you provide is so heartfelt and moving that I can only assume it comes from your own personal life-changing experiences with such counseling.
I can only imagine the kind of posts you were capable of before the healing balm of psychotherapy was soothingly rubbed into your troubled mind.
That you so tirelessly promote this treatment without apparent desire for any kind of commission or gain is to your credit.
If the day ever comes where I feel that the pressures of life have led me to the brink of becoming an internet troll, I'll head right off to my local shrink and ask for the vysota special.
Good luck, and may stable mental health be yours!!
Apparently it's too late for you, Anonymous. On the upside being a ball-less wonder that you are, life must be pretty simple.
hehe-
That's all ya got?
Ball-less wonder? Haha!!!
Go back and practice your chops on the Hannah Montana message board.
You sir, have been owned.
ta ta...
Are you mentally blowing yourself because no one else bothers to, oh brave "anonymous"? Good luck with that. But boy, it must be lonely to declare yourself a winner when no one else realized you were even trying...
And yet you return.
Once again, I emerge triumphant.
This afternoon, I plan to drive down to the trophy shop and award myself a large multi-tiered trophy for winning internet arguments.
Then, I'm going to call up the toastmasters and hire one of their members to come over, say a few words, and present it to me.
Then I'm going to have my friends throw one of those good old celebrity roasts in my honor. Perhaps you could help write some of the sarcastic jabs for the event?
Unless you're available to jump out of the cake?
this anon needs to go to comeback school
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